Disappointing Things DPG Says... |
A blog to document some of the ridiculous and disappointing thing that my roommate and best friend, Dpg, lets escape from his mouth |
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"I’m gonna start gettin tough! You guys are gonna wake up to see me in the kitchen just beating myself with meat!"
Dpg while slapping himself goth turkey on WinCo
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Notes"I’m just hartnett-ing you!"Dpg saying he’s just joshing.
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"Frenching your dead uncle has GOT TO BE a fetish somewhere."
Dpg
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Notes"I wish those tasted like army men. Like…not the toys, but like actual army guys. Really fleshy…"Dpg about some candy that looked like army men.
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Notes"I always get excited cuz I think Paul Walker is out in the parking lot. But he never is."Dpg after he heard tire screeching
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"I really need to impress my new coworkers with my farting skills."
Dpg the day he got a new job
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Notes"I’ve gotta download the Chris Gaines album like right now!"Dpg
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Notes"I’m gonna start a massage business where I just massage people with knives. It’ll be like extreme acupuncture…just…puncture."Dpg while massaging his neck with the handle of a kitchen knife.
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"I tend to bargain shop when I shop for prostitutes."
Dpg
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Notes"Isn’t that how life works? If I’ve ever learned anything from Paul Walker and Vin Diesel movies…"Dpg
